2007: The Year in Douchebags...

2007 was an excellent year for Douchebags everywhere. So I have written my own list of the year's biggest douchebags.


#5 - Barry Bonds
The man who put the asterisk in the record books.

#4 - Paris Hilton
The old number one. Dropped a few because after her parents' influence was unable to keep her out of jail she pretty much stayed quiet.

#3 - Lindsay Lohan
Her crimes: Went to rehab 3 times, created 2 of the worst movies of the year, is still alive.

#2 - Britney Spears
Since her sister is now pregnant at 16 it is proven that her douchebaggyness is contagious. I suggest we quarantine her for our own sake, though it may be too late...

#1 - America
Odds are that if you picked a random person from the USA they would probably be guilty of one of either of these two crimes: they either wouldn't admit that it is impossible for a baseball player to be better, faster, stronger when he is 42 than when he is 24 or they did not change the channel when CNN started reporting about one of the other three people on my list. So for making this list possible, America, you are the number 1 douchebag of the year. All Hail The King! By the way, I do include myself amongst America because I created a douchebag of the year list and did not include George Bush or Dick Cheney in it.

P.S. This post was inspired by Cracked.com's own list of douchebags. I had to write this post because I disagree with their number one.

Yet another awesome reason for me to get a wii

2 Guys 1 Cup with John Mayer (SFW)

For those who don't know what this is a parody of it is this. WARNING this video is NSFW and will probably make you vomit. Either vomit or laugh until you cry. Enjoy.

A Flashback to the Kingsville movie theater in 1977...

Sometime in early 1977...

Movie Theater Worker: OK boss. We have to decide what movies we are going to be showing this summer.

Movie Theater Owner: Where do we start?

Movie Theater Worker: OK what are we going to show on May 27th?

Movie Theater Owner: What are our options?

Movie Theater Worker: We have this new movie from a new director. Its about a kid and his friends who must save a princess in space.

Movie Theater Owner: Well that's crazy. There are no princesses in space. Does it at least star anyone famous?

Movie Theater Worker: Not really. Its a couple of new kids. Some British actor. Two robots and a giant dog thing.

Movie Theater Owner: Robots? Dog thing? British people!? Thats not what people want to see. Next!

Movie Theater Worker: Well we also can order this movie with Burt Reynolds as a guy who must deliver beer on time.

Movie Theater Owner: Don't need to hear anymore, that sounds brilliant. Order me two copies of that one.

Movie Theater Worker: Yes sir. Cancel the order on Star Wars and order two copies of Smokey and the Bandit.

Movie Theater Owner: Brilliant!!

I guess you see what I am trying to say. In 1977 there probably was no Kingsville movie theater but I can assume it would have gone just like this. Why? Because the Kingsville theater sucks. That is why it is so difficult to make my top movie list. Because I have wanted to see dozens of movies that sound funny and original and exciting but the Kingsville movie theater will have none of it. In fact with No Country For Old Men and There Will Be Blood, this is supposed to be one of the best years of film in a long time. But will the Kingsville theater show either one of those probable Academy Award contenders? Well they didn't show one, and I don't have high hopes for the other.

I really need to get out of this town...

The Best of 2007! Part 2!

Oi, it seems i've done a little better this year and have seen 15 movies released in 2007. That's pretty good for me. Anyways, here's my top 5.

The Best of 2007! in Movies: (in order of bestness)

1. Alpha Dog
2. Superbad
3. Black Snake Moan
4. Smokin' Aces
5. Blades of Glory (it had the girl from the Office! C'mon!)

Runners up: 28 Weeks Later, Knocked Up, 300, The Simpsons Movie
Most dissapointing film of 2007: American Gangster
Most horrible film of 2007: Hitman
Worst Holiday film of 2007: Fred Claus

Opinions?

Greatest Band Name Ever...

I just found this while looking at A.V. Clubs Worst Band Names list and I have to disagree with them. Apparently there is a band in Los Angeles that is called...

JEWS AND MEXICANS

This is made even better by their website which proclaims...

available for bar mitzvahs and quinceañeras!

Though I looked on their site and it seems like they only have one mexican.

The Best of 2007!

In Music: (note: Sadly, I haven't listed to very many new albums, and there's some I really want to listen to, like Say Anything's and Thursday's and Thrice's and Wilco's, but I just haven't gotten around to it. Therefore, my list is really only the best of what I have heard. I'll try to keep in touch a little more next year. Let's make it my new years resolution!)

Best of 2007 in Music: (in order of bestness)

1. Arcade Fire - Neon Bible
2. Radiohead - In Rainbows
3. Tegan & Sara - The Con
4. Britney Spears - Blackout (jk!!)

Reply with your lists! Limit of 5? Don't rack your brain trying to think too hard.

Let us continue insulting the muslims!

Joey i think you would start that kind of movie by creating a "silhouette" atmosphere.

I believe you have to shine a bunch of lights behind the actors in order to have them appear as shadows.

as for me, checo's video reminded me of this awesome musical...yes musical...fuck you.

Achmed the Prince!

I was reminded of this by Checo's post.

I want to make a movie like this, but I'm not sure exactly how.

Any suggestions?

Achmed the dead terrorist

ok i thought this was pretty funny let me know what you think...

I think I've decided i'm getting a wii.

Just so i can pull off awesome shit like this.

This movie looks a-fucking-mazing

dr. simi++::...

i dont know if you guys have seen this, but someone clipped dr. simi

cheers

A Dire Warning in the Form of a billy Joel Song

What Really Happened!?

What are your feelings on the whole Gamespot/Gerstmann issue?

I'd love to hear. Personally, I used to like Gamespot a lot, but after really looking at both sides of the issue, I found that I really don't care for them anymore. Plus, I was really beginning to enjoy IGN more anyway.

Holy Crap!

It's snowing!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

9/11 man