2007: The Year in Douchebags...
2007 was an excellent year for Douchebags everywhere. So I have written my own list of the year's biggest douchebags.
#5 - Barry Bonds
The man who put the asterisk in the record books.
#4 - Paris Hilton
The old number one. Dropped a few because after her parents' influence was unable to keep her out of jail she pretty much stayed quiet.
#3 - Lindsay Lohan
Her crimes: Went to rehab 3 times, created 2 of the worst movies of the year, is still alive.
#2 - Britney Spears
Since her sister is now pregnant at 16 it is proven that her douchebaggyness is contagious. I suggest we quarantine her for our own sake, though it may be too late...
#1 - America
Odds are that if you picked a random person from the USA they would probably be guilty of one of either of these two crimes: they either wouldn't admit that it is impossible for a baseball player to be better, faster, stronger when he is 42 than when he is 24 or they did not change the channel when CNN started reporting about one of the other three people on my list. So for making this list possible, America, you are the number 1 douchebag of the year. All Hail The King! By the way, I do include myself amongst America because I created a douchebag of the year list and did not include George Bush or Dick Cheney in it.
P.S. This post was inspired by Cracked.com's own list of douchebags. I had to write this post because I disagree with their number one.
#5 - Barry Bonds
The man who put the asterisk in the record books.
#4 - Paris Hilton
The old number one. Dropped a few because after her parents' influence was unable to keep her out of jail she pretty much stayed quiet.
#3 - Lindsay Lohan
Her crimes: Went to rehab 3 times, created 2 of the worst movies of the year, is still alive.
#2 - Britney Spears
Since her sister is now pregnant at 16 it is proven that her douchebaggyness is contagious. I suggest we quarantine her for our own sake, though it may be too late...
#1 - America
Odds are that if you picked a random person from the USA they would probably be guilty of one of either of these two crimes: they either wouldn't admit that it is impossible for a baseball player to be better, faster, stronger when he is 42 than when he is 24 or they did not change the channel when CNN started reporting about one of the other three people on my list. So for making this list possible, America, you are the number 1 douchebag of the year. All Hail The King! By the way, I do include myself amongst America because I created a douchebag of the year list and did not include George Bush or Dick Cheney in it.
P.S. This post was inspired by Cracked.com's own list of douchebags. I had to write this post because I disagree with their number one.
posted by Oscar at 3:20 PM
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