Yes, Quite the Imagination

Okay, so every once in a while you start to imagine how stuff was first invented. Who came up with it first? How did they stumble on the idea? How much time did they take to come up with the idea? And other questions like that. But what really boggles your mind is when you think “What were they doing when they came up with that?”
For example, who was the first person to eat a lobster? I mean for fuck’s sake have you ever seen a lobster? Those things are fucking ugly. Poor motherfucker must have been starving when he ate it. Imagine you get an animal that lives in the water, has those pinchy thingies on it’s hands and looks like it likes to eat pieces of shit. Then you cook it and it turns red. I’d be like “YOU SPAWN OF SATAN!!!!” Now that’s one guy that has balls. Another great invention that I just can’t imagine how someone came up with it is the straw. I can just picture this one guy saying “Yeah, you get a small plastic tube and you put it in water and you suck on it.” I really can’t help wonder what that person was doing when he came up with the idea.
And then there is my all-time favorite, LANGUAGES!!! Yes, languages, it just spawns a great amount of questions and spawns an infinite amount of possible situations. For example… Who came up with the first languages. You can just picture a caveman swatting away flies, he grabs an apple looks at it and says “APPLE!!” Then languages have all these types of rules and spellings and grammar, I mean it seems like a lot for one person to come up with it all. So did he have a council or something? And even if there were several people involved…. HOW THE FUCK DID THEY COMMUNICATE WITH EACH OTHER!!!! I mean this shit is amazing. I mean it’s easy with people that can already speak a language to grab a rock and go up to some fuck and say. “Pssst…. Dude!!... Check this out…. You know what this is??? It’s a punflo” But I just can’t think on how the hell they did it with the first language.

But today there are stuff that you just can’t help in wonder how they came up with it. Take Scientology for example…. What the fuck was this guy thinking when he came up with it. That’s crazy. Some people think that the son of God walking on water is a little far fetced… Then what about this shit!!!!
A little background on scientology before I continue with my rant… About 75 million years ago Captain Xenu, leader of the Galactic Confederacy was in quite the pickle. His planets were being over populated and he had to find a solution. So he tricks a lot of the citizens of the galactic confederacy to travel in these “Spacecrafts” that appear to be like the planes Aeromexico uses. Well captain Xenu tricks these people on going to live to planet earth which at the time was uninhabited. Anywho, once they get to earth he ties them up and puts them on top of a volcano and then using hydrogen bombs they blow up the volcanoes along with all the people that Captain Xenu brought along. The spirits of these people are called Thetans and are now living in the spiritual world on this planet. And whenever you feel bad it means that you have Thetans on you and you have to take them off.
This seems pretty reasonable I mean… Captain Xenu… hydrogen bombs…. Thetans…. Aeromexico spacecrafts…. It could be true. But what really bakes my noodle is… WHERE THE FUCK DO THE JEDIS COME IN? Where is master Qui Gon or Obi Wan Kenobi…. I mean for crying out FUCKING loud…. How could the Jedi Master Yoda allow this? I blame the Sith for this, because of them now every time I hit my self in the toe BAM!!!!! I have about 3 thetans on top of me. And man is it hard to take them off!!!!!
There are a couple of question I would like to ask these people… What happened to the Galactic Confederacy? Why haven’t they contacted us? Why the fuck haven’t they apologized for the thetans? Was planet Krypton part of these confederacy?

I think the real question here is very simple “What the fuck was this guy doing when he came up with this shit”

Well I really have to give this guy credit for having quite the imagination yes… My sources have just informed me that after several centuries of looking, thousands of hardships that have been indured, three dead gungans, 20 malfunctioning R2’s and about 5 sodomized Twileks they have finally been able to identify the leader of this mysterious and highly esoteric group. And not only that but they actually managed to get a picture too. So here it is…

Funny Cat Jump++::...

By far its the stupidest thing i have ever seen. cheers

ponder++::......

why do all infomertials are hosted by an australian guy?
cheers

Greatest Hits: Angel

This one was easy because I ran into it while I was looking for Checo's post. It was so funny that I laughed out loud while I was supposed to be proctering an exam. Hehe Proctering sounds like a dirty word. Anyway if you think another post is better blah blah blah.

Aaaahhhhhh!!!!!!!!!

Dianosis

I pissed out a stone!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Greatest Hits: Checo

This is the post that first came to mind when I thought of Checo's Greatest Hits. Again if you feel like it should be something else post on the comments.

Meat eaters UNITE!!

As we all know Rennie has turned vegan. So I say we all unite as the beef lovers that we are and eat twice the beef we used to!
Why you ask?
Just to cancel Rennie out.

Greatest Hits: Carlos

Giddy up labtops

Kool articlie i just read states "Men who regularly balance their laptop computers on their laps when working may be jeopardizing their ability to have children, according to a new study from fertility researchers at the State University of New York at Stony Brook. " Heheheeh so for those of you that want a laptop kiss your soldiers goodbye, heheh i wonder what people with compaq laptops are thinking. They are royaly fucked, anywho im in corpus right now, chilling feeling and some other ing word. However, were done for the this semester and more time will be dedicated to the creation of this page. Ren is being ren somewhere in a unknown location to me, neto is working checo is checo, fredo is not gaining weight, tj is off being cute, and danyela is at a christmas party. Isnt it funner when we are all together, oh yeah and diego is in absoluteville gtg bye. BOssman playing halo, gtg bye

I have chosen this post as a Greatest Hit for Carlos for two reasons. 1) It's pretty funny. And 2) he now has a laptop which he sometimes uses while on the toilet. So his "little soldiers" are recieving a direct dose of the radiation. Oh the irony. Again if you feel Carlos has made a better post point me to it in the comments.

Anyway sorry its taken me so long to post more greatest hits but the internet is down at my house. I will try to post all of the Greatest Hits before our official birthday on Monday.

well woopty fukin doo!!++::...

ok so i was in walmart just like 15 mins ago buying shit and i stumble upon this morose motherfucker right here

and it says on whatever the fuck that chisme magazine was "I'm GAY". to that i saw mr bass WOOPTY FUCKING DOO!! i have been saying u were queer since boy bands came about, u sir are queerer than siegfried and roy having interpecies erotica with that albino lion on a hot summer day.
cheers

my dos and dont's

1. Do not go see World Trade Center, If there could ever be anything in bad taste, is to make a movie about one of the greatest tragedies of america only a few years later. We are still not done greiving you douchebag. Oh and now I hear that Oliver Stone is gonna give 9/11 charities 10%, ooooooh how fucking saintly of him. he should receive the nobel prize. lets say this movie makes 100,000,000 dollars. putting the amount of money that it cost to make, i'd say that profit was only 10,000,000. so ten percent of that is....that's right, 1,000,000. now 2,819 people died, so on average, lets divide that, how much would families of these people get? 354.74 Good job Oliver, you're a king among men.

2. Do go watch clerks II, its hilarious, and while you're watching it, don't get too offended, it talks about a lot of funny stuff, and is only there to teach tolerance and to tell people to shut the fuck up. But seriously, its just funny.

3. Do watch my super sweet 16. the show has been running for a while, but i just can't get over how fucking offensive this show is. How spoiled can these tiny bitches get?

4. Don't Trust CPL Energy, They're charging me 231.83(oh yeah carlos they lowered it a couple dollars), and that is impossible, i swear there is a wiring problem in my apartment because that is way too high especially for someone who turns off the airconditioner mid day. Fuck those energy fucks.

alright thats' it for me today. i'm out.

Dianosis Greatest Hits: Rennie

Seeing as how we are less than a week a way from the blog's second birthday, I decided it owuld be nice to look back at the best post from each individual person. I decided to start with rennie since his is the easiest and does not involve any complicated reading of all his posts to decide which was best in my opinion. I just thought of rennie's best post and this came to mind. If you disagree feel free to point me to what you think is his best post in the comments.

old pic from my modeling days

:P

Cowabunga!

I don't know what to think about this...

but i gotta see it.

NEW TMNT MOVIE

Followup from neto's net neutrality act

Alexandria!

Yeh.

So who's up for tryin' this: Flaming Whip

How 'bout this weekend? Rennie? Neto?
C'mon it'll be fun!

Ren, Neto have a ball...

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-1342132664644484246&sourceid=igoogle

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-1342132664644484246&sourceid=igoogle

have fun...

The Science of Sleeplessness...

I know I already posted something today but I'm feeling creative right now and I want to nurture those feelings.  I decided that I didn't feel like sleeping tonight.  I'm going to stay up as long as possible or until sunrise and see if I can keep myself from getting bored.  I will post every hour or so to write about what I have been up to for the past hour if I don't fall asleep or forget.  So if I stop posting I either fell asleep or forgot.  Consider this my 1 AM post.

1:00 AM:
I have been watching movie trailers at http://www.apple.com/trailers/ for the past hour and a half.  I saw a couple of good ones and a lot of crappy ones.  Best one so far has been for The Science Of Sleep.  This one is directed by Michel Gondry, the guy who directed Eternal Sunshine Of The Spotless Mind, so its pretty wierd and pretty good looking. 

http://www.apple.com/trailers/warner_independent_pictures/thescienceofsleep/med.html


2:00 AM:
One of my earlier posts dealt with net neutrality. I understand that not everyone knows what it's all about but I found a pretty even-handed article about it on HowStuffWorks. It's got both sides on it and it breaks it down like this. Those against Net Neutrality don't want the government regulating the internet. Those for net neutrality believe that some government regulation is needed to keep the internet from being something that is controlled by the telecommunication corporations.

http://computer.howstuffworks.com/ref/net-neutrality-news.htm?cid=rss1

I am usually someone that doesn't trust the government but I trust corporations, an entity who by definition is seeking profits no matter who it hurts, even less. If you look at Kingsville you will se a clear example of why regulation is needed at this time. Right now there are two broadband providers in Kingsville. They are AT&T/SBC and CMA. Now you would say that if lets say AT&T started getting all crazy with their prices and what users could see online that we could just switch to CMA. But CMA is a small broadband provider and already has limitations on how much bandwidth you could use. So in kingsville there is very little choice and its the same all over the country.

The Pitch...

So if I was the one being asked for money for this movie I just saw called November, this is how it would go.

The Guy Asking Me For Money:  Hey I'm thinking about making a movie and I was wondering if you could help finance it.

Me:  Maybe.  What's the storyline?

The Guy Asking Me For Money:  A woman played by the crazy chick from Friends and her boyfriend played by some random dude stop at a convenience store.  The boyfriend gets out to buy the crazy chick some chocolate.  While he's in the store the crazy chick talks to some black guy who she is having an affair with on her cell phone.  Then there is a robbery and the boyfriend gets shot.  But wait.  That turns out not to be true.  Cause then we start all over again and instead of the boyfriend being at the robbery its the crazy chick and the black guy but the robber runs out of bullets before he gets to shoot them.  But wait.  This turns out not to be true.  It turns out that the conveniece store was robbed and the boyfriend was shot and the crazy chick ran in and got shot too and the whole movie was taking place in her mind as she was dying.

Me:  Whoa!  I totally did not see that one coming because I haven't seen every other fucking independent movie since The Sixth Sense.  Fuck.  Even before the Sixth Sense so called art films have been doing the main character is dead storylines.  Jesus Christ don't you have a blockbuster card?  Go and rent some movies and come back with a vaguely original idea.  Get the fuck out of my office.

Weekly Bitchings

What's up guys!!!!
Well since I didn't know what to post I decided to post "Angel's weekly bitchings". It's pretty much me bitching about stuff that happens to me or that I hear about. I'll try to post it every saturday if it's possible but in case I don't have to much stuff to do I'll try to get you a fresh new bitching every Saturday.
Well this is the first bitch I'm going to post and I tried my best on it so I hope you guys enjoy it.
I will appreciate it if you guys comment on it so I can see if you liked it.
If you guys like it then I will try my best to bitch every week just to bring smiles to your faces.

So here it is........

License to do what now?

You know what really ticks me off? No, seriously it feels like somebody kicked me in the nuts when I think about this.

It really bugs me when people need a license to do everything, I mean it’s stupid. I understand that people need a license to drive a car, because you want to keep idiots off the road (and even so there are a lot of idiots driving). I also agree with needing a license to sell beer or to own a bar, because you know, they have to make sure that they aren’t selling altered drinks and all that crazy stuff people do to get more money.

But what really pisses me off is what happened to my dad the other day. A friend of his loan him a jet-ski (wwweeeeeee!!!!!!) so he decided to try it out in the bay portion of South Padre Island. Well the police stopped him and told him that he needed a LICENSE for driving a jet-ski. I mean what the hell!!!!. Next thing you know they are going to make you take drivers ed for jet-skis. I can just picture this, “Okay class today we are going to learn how to avoid hitting dolphins”. Or maybe “rule number 43, don’t pass in front of people that are fishing, and absolutely no eating of the bait in the hooks”. I mean for fuck’s sake.

Then the policeman has nerve to ask if the jet-ski has a fire extinguisher. I mean for crying out loud, somebody shoot me. IF THE JET-SKI IS ON FIRE I’LL JUST FLIP IT OVER YOU CRAZY FUCK!!!! I mean last time I checked jet-skis are made to go on water!!!! Or maybe I missed the latest news where they mentioned they had just discovered that sea water was flammable like they did with gasoline in the 50’s.

So what the hell is that all about?

For lack of me posting anything substantial

FAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGS!!!!

Only in Georgia

ok so first a little background on this. In Atlanta Georgia they built a little under a year ago the largest aquarium in the world. so naturally be being the dork that i am i want to go..ok so i go online buy tickets online and i print out them out.. as i am reading the do's and don'ts of the place i stumble upon this:

- All persons and bags are subject to search and security checks. No guns, knives, lighters, matches or FISHING POLES are permitted inside Georgia Aquarium.

only in georgia...

I'm Back

Dianosis

HEEEEEEEEEYYYY, hows everybody doing? It's been a while since last time I blogged but I'll try to do it more often.
By the way I just saw the movie "The Hills Have Eyes" what a load of bullshit, people being mutated with blasts of radiation. That was a waste of time. I mean have they ever heard of CANCER!!!! Great idea you had Wes Craven.
The scary thing is that I've actually seen children being born like that, BUT THEY DON'T GO AROUND EATING PEOPLE. Well at least I hope they don't, although that would explain about the missing nurses, or maybe they just got fired. Damn unemployment.

Speaking of unemployment, fucking Wes Craven should get a job. I can just picture him staring at the wall in his house coming up with stupid shit like genetically mutated people that eat other people. DAMN

Well everybody it was nice blogging with you guys again. I'll try to keep in touch and blog more often.
Laters

A Series of Tubes...

Click play on this video and learn why current lawmakers will never be able to make a good decision about computers and the internet.



Then click play on this video to see an example of the quality internet content that must be protected.

Freebird!

Yo Yo Yo you dope *ss b*tches!

Uhh...what's up?...Totally weak.

Check this out: Video Game Wallpaper

Dude there are way too many mosquitos out there.
Don't go outside. And the price of Off Brand Mosquito Repellent has totally increased in price.
Totally lame.

Wierd...

ok so once u click on the link the article is pretty cool but what got my attention is the yahoo marriages thingy on the lower left corner...anybody else find this funny??

Fucking French

Neener Neener the French Lost go back to planning a invasion of your country.

Yo tengo las manos limpias... "i'm rich bitch"

ES CORRECTO MI ESTIMADO CHEKOLINGAS PILINGAS, SE SUFRIOOO CASI NO DUERMO POR ESTAR VIENDO QUE PEDO CON LAS ELECCIONES, yo afortunadamente vote por lil' Phillip BigPot, osea felipin calderon, todo con madre a las 4:05 a.m. ya se notaba una clara ventaja ante AMLO de Calderon, no obstanteeeee el representante del PRD junto con 200 abogados va a apelar la decision del IFE debido a irregularidades encontradas...

1.- una bolsa negra con boletas y actas sin llenar encontradas en veracruz... por una persona que "salio a tirar la basura" (ahora pienso yo que pitosssss wey, osea que pedo cuando sales a tirar la basura andas en busca de bolsas negras que la demas gente tiro???? pero da la casualidad que el susodicho que encontro la bolsa le dijo a su hermana los cuales son simpatizantes del PRD... osea no mames y encima de todo se las llevan al PRD nomas para empezar a chingar la madre...

uno ya pasaron las elecciones, dos se pueden anular votos por no saber votar unoooo se vota poniendo una pinche tachaaaaa en el partido que quieres, aaa no pero unos pendejos ponen una palomita, otros ponen una pinche tacha adentro de un circulo, otros pendejos tachan todos los partidos menos al que quieren y lo dejan en blanco (neta??? vaz a hacer eso???), otros simplemente tachan todaaaaaaaa la hoja (ahora esto se hace ver como un movimiento de personas que creen en el sufragio efectivo no reeleccion, en el sentido de que prefieren hacer eso a que otros partidos se roben su voto y se lo queden...)

2.- AMLO (andy manuel lopez "goodwork" obrador) dijo que el iba a respetar la decision del IFE conforme a las elecciones dicho por el mismooo: "voy a respetar la decision electoral aunque sea por un voto (señalando con el pequeño dedo indice el numero uno)" pero da la casualidad queeeee va a apelar con 200 abogados...

3.- se encuentran 3 boletas en la basura en el DF... 3 wey ya llegale te las regalo y añadelas... (clases de matematicas, que es mayor 3 o 13millones quien sabe cuantos.com... mmmmmm... creo que ni con una ventaja de unos 500 000 votantes, 3 votos encontrados en la basura van a ayudar) ahora, de que te quejas weyyyy fueron 3 votos en el DF EN EL CUAL YA SABEMOS QUE EL PRD GANO EN EL DF...

4.- okaaay compadre hubo irregularidades eso demuestra que muchos representantes en casillas no te quieren, otra no solo fueron votos para el pan y pri, tambien hubo irregularidades en el PRD... en unas se encontraron votos duplicados hacia el PRI y otras veces se encontraban mas votos para el PAN, yyyyyy tambien para el PRD...

5.- ponte a pensar cuantas personas asisten a la universidad en Mexico, cuantos egresados de diferentes universidades existen dia con dia, y cuantos ejidatarios, y personas pobres existen.... bien veamos, egresados un chingo, egresados quiere decir que tienen educacion, y a comparacion de los USA en Mex salen ingenieros, lics, administradores, y uno que otro deportista o entrenador... por lo tantoooooooo se sabe quien es el mejor candidato!!!

6.- en cada casilla electoral hay representantes de todoooooooos los partidos por los cuales se sabe de antemano que se hizo en cada casilla por miembrossssssss de cada partido osea que cosa mas clara que el awa hay??? un vidrio, cristal cortado... aire?

es como que los pobres contra la clase social que quiere otra vez un cambio, no me refiero a la clase social rica o la media no a la verga tambien habemos becados en las universidades y tambien sabemos que el gobierno no tiene la repsonsabilidad de darnos todo, a eso mis estimados yo le llamo webones, puta madre trabaja cabron y si no consigues limpia vidrios o algo a la verga, el que pobre quiere estar pobre se queda...

one...

estoy sufriendo!!!

pinches vatos como a uds les vale verga Mexico porque no opinan acerca de las elecciones, porfavor opinen siempre y cuando se hayan documentado no quiero estupideces, esta apunto de ganar un pinche comunista la presidencia de Mexico, osea todos ahorita estan como que mandando todo a la verga y la bolsa de valores de Mexico callo por tercer vez en su maxima un 4 punto y pelos, siiiiiiii y pelossss.... el pinche dinero ahorita esta a 11.44 bolovanes el dolar oseaaaaaaaaaaaaaa no mames bien para mi pero que pedo con mis camaradas haya de chiapas y axcapitzilngo el chiko, y chileverde amordidas el fuerte haya por zempacuchitl hidalgo osea no mamen... que se vaya a la verga el PRD si ahi esta lo dije y que...

http://www.eluniversal.com.mx pero todavia falta un poco mas del 10% de las casillas esperanzas las hay calderon!!! las hay!!!! (nota esto lo hago a las 9:52 p.m. cuando apenas va un 88.60% de casillas contadas)


one

Should Have Worn A Kryptonite Condom...

I am assuming that by now everyone has seen Superman Returns.  I know that when I am assuming I am making an ass out of U and some Chinese guy named Ming but seriously you have had 5 days to see what is clearly the biggest movie of the summer (estimated budget higher than even Titanic) and if you haven't seen it you lose all geek points.  But if you haven't seen it then now is your chance to turn back without being completely spoiled.  Are you gone?  Good.

I thought the movie was awesome.  It made me feel like I was was 6 and watching the original again.  My one complaint is the kid.  You know who I am talking about.  Now I don't have a problem with the kid specifically.  It was an interesting twist and they could have done a worse job with him.  I mean I am tired of little kids in movies who are so much smarter than the adults despite the fact that they are four years old.  This kind of kid has a place in some movies but not a comic book superhero movie.  The problem I had was that the whole thing about the kid left me confused. I found myself asking the same questions as Banky in Mallrats.  Did Superman and Lois Lane have sex?  How could this happen without Superman's thrusts absolutely killing Lois?  Shouldn't the force of Superman releasing his load be so strong that it would punch a hole through Lois' vagina (or mouth)?  Would he have to wear a Kryptonite condom?

Anyway some looking on the internets has led me to the answer to a couple of these questions and now I will happily share my discoveries with you.  Superman and Lois did have sex.  Superman Returns is a sequel to Superman and Superman II.  They chose to ignore Superman III & IV because there is widespread agreement that these suck.  In Superman II, Superman gives up his powers to be with Lois (sound familiar, Carlos?).  They spend one day together before they are attacked by Zod and Superman must reclaim his powers.  While Superman was less than super, they had sex.  And after he defeats Zod, Superman erases Lois' memory with a "magic Superkiss" (yea I don't get that either).  The movie ends and roughly 5 years later the events of Superman Returns take place.

Pretty complicated explanation isn't it?  Probably why it was left out of the movie.  Good movie though.  Can't wait till the next one.

P.S.  I realize that this post was a dirtier than all my other posts but really I was just asking the questions Banky was asking in Mallrats.

So Engineers at Kingsville are not alone in this

http://www.indianj.com/stories/bodyodor.asp