Yes, Quite the Imagination
Okay, so every once in a while you start to imagine how stuff was first invented. Who came up with it first? How did they stumble on the idea? How much time did they take to come up with the idea? And other questions like that. But what really boggles your mind is when you think “What were they doing when they came up with that?”
For example, who was the first person to eat a lobster? I mean for fuck’s sake have you ever seen a lobster? Those things are fucking ugly. Poor motherfucker must have been starving when he ate it. Imagine you get an animal that lives in the water, has those pinchy thingies on it’s hands and looks like it likes to eat pieces of shit. Then you cook it and it turns red. I’d be like “YOU SPAWN OF SATAN!!!!” Now that’s one guy that has balls. Another great invention that I just can’t imagine how someone came up with it is the straw. I can just picture this one guy saying “Yeah, you get a small plastic tube and you put it in water and you suck on it.” I really can’t help wonder what that person was doing when he came up with the idea.
And then there is my all-time favorite, LANGUAGES!!! Yes, languages, it just spawns a great amount of questions and spawns an infinite amount of possible situations. For example… Who came up with the first languages. You can just picture a caveman swatting away flies, he grabs an apple looks at it and says “APPLE!!” Then languages have all these types of rules and spellings and grammar, I mean it seems like a lot for one person to come up with it all. So did he have a council or something? And even if there were several people involved…. HOW THE FUCK DID THEY COMMUNICATE WITH EACH OTHER!!!! I mean this shit is amazing. I mean it’s easy with people that can already speak a language to grab a rock and go up to some fuck and say. “Pssst…. Dude!!... Check this out…. You know what this is??? It’s a punflo” But I just can’t think on how the hell they did it with the first language.
But today there are stuff that you just can’t help in wonder how they came up with it. Take Scientology for example…. What the fuck was this guy thinking when he came up with it. That’s crazy. Some people think that the son of God walking on water is a little far fetced… Then what about this shit!!!!
A little background on scientology before I continue with my rant… About 75 million years ago Captain Xenu, leader of the Galactic Confederacy was in quite the pickle. His planets were being over populated and he had to find a solution. So he tricks a lot of the citizens of the galactic confederacy to travel in these “Spacecrafts” that appear to be like the planes Aeromexico uses. Well captain Xenu tricks these people on going to live to planet earth which at the time was uninhabited. Anywho, once they get to earth he ties them up and puts them on top of a volcano and then using hydrogen bombs they blow up the volcanoes along with all the people that Captain Xenu brought along. The spirits of these people are called Thetans and are now living in the spiritual world on this planet. And whenever you feel bad it means that you have Thetans on you and you have to take them off.
This seems pretty reasonable I mean… Captain Xenu… hydrogen bombs…. Thetans…. Aeromexico spacecrafts…. It could be true. But what really bakes my noodle is… WHERE THE FUCK DO THE JEDIS COME IN? Where is master Qui Gon or Obi Wan Kenobi…. I mean for crying out FUCKING loud…. How could the Jedi Master Yoda allow this? I blame the Sith for this, because of them now every time I hit my self in the toe BAM!!!!! I have about 3 thetans on top of me. And man is it hard to take them off!!!!!
There are a couple of question I would like to ask these people… What happened to the Galactic Confederacy? Why haven’t they contacted us? Why the fuck haven’t they apologized for the thetans? Was planet Krypton part of these confederacy?
I think the real question here is very simple “What the fuck was this guy doing when he came up with this shit”
Well I really have to give this guy credit for having quite the imagination yes… My sources have just informed me that after several centuries of looking, thousands of hardships that have been indured, three dead gungans, 20 malfunctioning R2’s and about 5 sodomized Twileks they have finally been able to identify the leader of this mysterious and highly esoteric group. And not only that but they actually managed to get a picture too. So here it is…
For example, who was the first person to eat a lobster? I mean for fuck’s sake have you ever seen a lobster? Those things are fucking ugly. Poor motherfucker must have been starving when he ate it. Imagine you get an animal that lives in the water, has those pinchy thingies on it’s hands and looks like it likes to eat pieces of shit. Then you cook it and it turns red. I’d be like “YOU SPAWN OF SATAN!!!!” Now that’s one guy that has balls. Another great invention that I just can’t imagine how someone came up with it is the straw. I can just picture this one guy saying “Yeah, you get a small plastic tube and you put it in water and you suck on it.” I really can’t help wonder what that person was doing when he came up with the idea.
And then there is my all-time favorite, LANGUAGES!!! Yes, languages, it just spawns a great amount of questions and spawns an infinite amount of possible situations. For example… Who came up with the first languages. You can just picture a caveman swatting away flies, he grabs an apple looks at it and says “APPLE!!” Then languages have all these types of rules and spellings and grammar, I mean it seems like a lot for one person to come up with it all. So did he have a council or something? And even if there were several people involved…. HOW THE FUCK DID THEY COMMUNICATE WITH EACH OTHER!!!! I mean this shit is amazing. I mean it’s easy with people that can already speak a language to grab a rock and go up to some fuck and say. “Pssst…. Dude!!... Check this out…. You know what this is??? It’s a punflo” But I just can’t think on how the hell they did it with the first language.
But today there are stuff that you just can’t help in wonder how they came up with it. Take Scientology for example…. What the fuck was this guy thinking when he came up with it. That’s crazy. Some people think that the son of God walking on water is a little far fetced… Then what about this shit!!!!
A little background on scientology before I continue with my rant… About 75 million years ago Captain Xenu, leader of the Galactic Confederacy was in quite the pickle. His planets were being over populated and he had to find a solution. So he tricks a lot of the citizens of the galactic confederacy to travel in these “Spacecrafts” that appear to be like the planes Aeromexico uses. Well captain Xenu tricks these people on going to live to planet earth which at the time was uninhabited. Anywho, once they get to earth he ties them up and puts them on top of a volcano and then using hydrogen bombs they blow up the volcanoes along with all the people that Captain Xenu brought along. The spirits of these people are called Thetans and are now living in the spiritual world on this planet. And whenever you feel bad it means that you have Thetans on you and you have to take them off.
This seems pretty reasonable I mean… Captain Xenu… hydrogen bombs…. Thetans…. Aeromexico spacecrafts…. It could be true. But what really bakes my noodle is… WHERE THE FUCK DO THE JEDIS COME IN? Where is master Qui Gon or Obi Wan Kenobi…. I mean for crying out FUCKING loud…. How could the Jedi Master Yoda allow this? I blame the Sith for this, because of them now every time I hit my self in the toe BAM!!!!! I have about 3 thetans on top of me. And man is it hard to take them off!!!!!
There are a couple of question I would like to ask these people… What happened to the Galactic Confederacy? Why haven’t they contacted us? Why the fuck haven’t they apologized for the thetans? Was planet Krypton part of these confederacy?
I think the real question here is very simple “What the fuck was this guy doing when he came up with this shit”
Well I really have to give this guy credit for having quite the imagination yes… My sources have just informed me that after several centuries of looking, thousands of hardships that have been indured, three dead gungans, 20 malfunctioning R2’s and about 5 sodomized Twileks they have finally been able to identify the leader of this mysterious and highly esoteric group. And not only that but they actually managed to get a picture too. So here it is…
posted by Angel at 9:34 PM
2 Comments:
watch out buddy, Scientology might come after you.
hahhahahahahhahahhahahahhahahahhhahahahaha
hold on
ejjejejejejejejejeje
ah (as i wipe a tear form my eye) that was good
but u know one thing i really wonder is scientology really that screwd up or are all these "scientology backgrounds" things that have been made up by people who don't like them and spread by people like us that dislike them for one reason or another (like messing with southpark...they went too far....) anyway i'm really curious....
Post a Comment
<< Home