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Friday, December 30, 2005

Quit Smoking or get Fired

Quit smoking, or you're fired. That's what Scotts Miracle-Gro is telling its employees. If they don't quit smoking, they'll lose their jobs.

The lawn and garden company is trying to keep health insurance costs down by promoting healthy lifestyles for its employees.

Its chairman and chief executive, James Hagedorn, said the company shouldn't have to shoulder health risks for employees who smoke. It pays for 75 percent of employees' health insurance.

The Ohio-based company has 6,000 employees. It said it can fire smokers legally in 21 states.

Workers who smoke can get free counseling, nicotine patches and classes on quitting.

A spokesman said the company hasn't yet decided how it will enforce the smoking ban.

Thursday, December 29, 2005

Fucking Kool

ok watch this SHIT
1st this guy owns
2nd does the guitar change colors??

Funniest Rap Video Ever...

Reminds me of the good old days when rap wasn't about slapping bitches and hos.

The videos is really popular by now so check it out if you haven't seen it.
http://www.youtube.com/watch.php?v=zLElfJ9YCh0

Wednesday, December 28, 2005

Please leave your cranium at the door before watching this...

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0369610/

I hope Michael Crichton writes about how he is a redundant idiot.

Monday, December 26, 2005

David Cross writes a letter to larry the Cable Guy.

http://www.bobanddavid.com/david.asp?artID=183

This is so funny, I farted.

Also

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=6760524994902687555&q=nintendo

For those of you who want to see The Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess in action.

wolf creek blows++:::..........

ok, that movie, wolf creek, blew beyond proportion. it takes more than one hour and twenty minutes for the goddamn terror to happen and after you wait for it, it still blows.
ok, so in short i am going to tell you how much it blows:
it blows more than a pool party after eltons johns gay wedding, as cirque du soleil cornholes siegfried and roy while at the same time fabio pops a load on a dixie cup and george michael drinks it as some random douche flips his nutsack over his penis to makes it look like a bullfrog.
there i save you 99 minutes of boobless time.
cheers

Saturday, December 24, 2005

music++::..

I have been looking for new music (not for the holidays mind you) and I have stumbled on quite a few interesting things. Some of these bands fit the Alfredo criterion (which is not that high) of good music.
First off its Matisyahu which is basically this Hasidic jew singing reggae music. He sings a really badass song called “King Without A Crown”, and if you see the video on his website you will hear the version he played live at STUBBS.
The second one is called The Chalets they are basically very popish and glam rock oriented. The two girls are kinda cute, well one is hot the other one is ok. If you see their video for the song “Feel The Machine” you will reminisce a bit of Le Tigre and The Sounds. They are really cool and like I said if you see the video you can also find a slight connection with Apple Computers.
The third band is a called The 69 Eyes. They’re from Finland and the play a lot like the band HIM, with only more balls, at least from the singer. They are really cool, they play their own brand of love metal intended for broader audiences which might not be too familiar with Scandinavian leather (that’s how love metal is classified in Finland and such places). But the singers voice is really badass, imagine the music of HIM sung by Dracula. Check ‘em out.
The fourth and final band is called Carpark North. Carpark north is kind of electro trashy with style. Its like hearing a trashier version of Placebo with vocals like the singer of Muse and the singer of Mew had a lovechild. The song “Human” is fucking cool. The video is on the website, you figure it out.
+++++++++++++++++++
And finally something that has nothing to do with music but has to do with iPods.
See for yourself.
cheers

merrie crismais you all (ya'll)

Image hosted by Photobucket.com
cheers

MERRY CHRISTMAS

Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas,
Eat Milk
Gtg bye

Friday, December 23, 2005

extra post for pwnage

Go monkey Go monkey Go monkey

Here is a list of Science magazine's breakthroughs of 2005.



* Winner: Evolution in action. Genome sequencing and painstaking field observations shed light on the intricacies of how evolution works.
* Runner up: Planetary blitz. Europe's Huygens probe touched down on Saturn's moon Titan in January. It was joined by a fleet of other explorers, including Nasa's Deep Impact, which smashed a hole in a comet.
* In bloom. Molecular biologists pinned down several of the molecular cues responsible for spring's vibrant burst of colour.
* Neutron stars. Satellites and ground telescopes shed light on the violent behaviour of neutron stars; city-sized corpses of stars that pack matter into an extreme state.
* Miswiring the brain. Researchers gained clues about the mechanisms of disorders such as schizophrenia, dyslexia and Tourrete's syndrome.
* Complicated Earth. Comparisons of rocks from Earth and outer space forced scientists to scrap long-held views of how our planet formed.
* Protein portrait. Scientists got their best look yet at the molecular structure of a voltage-gated potassium channel.
* Change of climate. More evidence implicating human activities in global warming was presented, the magazine said.
* Systems biology. Molecular biologists are looking to engineering in order to understand the behaviour of complex systems.
* Bienvenue Iter. After 18 months of wrangling, the $12bn International Thermonuclear Experimental Reactor (Iter) got a home: Cadarache in France.

Monday, December 19, 2005

White House Confirms Illegal Wiretaps and Says They Will Continue...

http://www.cnn.com/2005/POLITICS/12/17/bush.nsa/index.html

This story was recently reported on digg where it was quickly voted down so you may not have seen it. This is interesting for a couple of reasons. First it is an interesting case study on how digg works and on whether political bias might be a problem for it. Second and most importantly this is just plain wrong.

Bush ordered the wiretapping of people without a court order or notification to congress. This is just unconstitutional. There is no law that allows this to happen. This is another example of the rights of americans being trampled in the name of safeguarding from terrorism.

Saturday, December 17, 2005

Ok now im getting angry!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The MPA aka the Music Publishers’ Association has been shutting down guitar tab and lyrics websites. Yes ill repeat this insanity according to the following article the MPA has been shutting down guitar tab and lyrics websites. Stateing that "Unauthorised use of lyrics and tablature deprives the songwriter of the ability to make a living, and is no different than stealing…” I dont know if this article is bullshit but if its true. These son of bitchs are taking it WAY to far. I dunno our constituition is getting short end of the stick here.

Click here

Oh yah, airports blow. When these monkeys decide to drop one plane of on Terminal A and want a person to get to terminal E in u know a huge airport (IAH AKA HOUSTON), Within 20 minutes. They really shouldnt act surprised a person missed the god damn plane. BOARDING TIME WAS BEFORE THE FIRST PLaNE LANDED. Btw they drove me to terminal E and it took 21 minutes. Fucking morons.

And lastly i wanted to greet everybody from WARM hawaii.

Friday, December 16, 2005

Zelda Fans

Click Here

Wednesday, December 14, 2005

wormfood

Hey, what's up? This is a true story, about a girl I know.
Not like Return of the Living Dead was a true story, this is... there's been no fabrications.
This is all true, exactly the way I saw it. Listen up.

Girl, awooo, I gotta tell you somethin. (You listening?) Hey.
If you really knocked up by my homie, ima punch you in the stomach. Ho.
There you go, it's your name. He don't mean it. No.
Girl you better count your dough, cuz this August your man is leavin. Bitch.


Come on girl you do the math. He's already takin care of your three other kids
Without a question asked and now your gonna ask him to have the baby? What are you? Crazy?
You were done by four kids, by four different fathers. Haven't you ever heard of a thing called condoms?
How come none of the other babies daddies want 'em? When my kids grow up yours are gonna rob 'em.
And I don't want that, it's easy. Trip down the stairs or a baseball bat to the belly would please me.
Throw on a black mask aim for the midsection and CRACK THAT ASS!
Now, I know it sounds harsh, but it's not. The chick has a kid every time she farts.
Illegitimate illiterate little bastards. Dead by eighteen, but this is just faster.


Girl, awooo, I gotta tell you somethin. (You listening?) Hey.
If you really knocked up by my homie, ima punch you in the stomach. (Punch that bitch) Ho.
There you go, it's your name. He don't mean it. No.
Girl you better count your dough, cuz this August your man is leavin. (Check check). Listen up cunt

Now, it's not like he's innocent. I mean, the girl get knocked up from havin sex on the internet.
Hadn't he remembered that he'd nutted up in her, and now I gotta fix it, cuz he's in love with her.
And I can't let a homie take a fall. A condom? I'd have put tinfoil on my balls.
Ain't no time to stall, cuz the time is now. Do something quick, before the kid comes out.
Look at the trouble that your dick shot out. Here's a couple hundred dollars, get the fuckin thing out.
There's abound a better reason to get rid of the kid. Take two steps back just look at the bitch.
She's one of the most crookedest bitches I've ever seen, she's been pitchin out kids since she was thirteen.
And I know that you trust her, but everyone from here to Illinois fucked her, dummy.


Girl, (listen up cunt) awooo, I gotta tell you somethin. Hey.
If you really knocked up by my homie, ima punch you in the stomach. (I really need you to listen to the words) Ho.
There you go, it's your name. He don't mean it. No.
Girl you better count your dough, cuz this August your man is leavin. Little cunt.

Think back to when you first met the slob. wasn't she married? Her husband had a job?
Supportin his kid, one was his, she was busy suckin your dick and you were clinched.
She did the same thing to you, man. You better take matters into your own hands, man and make a plan.
And jam your fuckin fist and fuckin grab the kid. Pull it out by it's leg it's your only chance.
You wanna be the only man with a new born? (huh?) As soon as it was born it smelled like Newports (ew!)
Strangle the bitch with the umbillical cord. Let it be a lesson to the rest of you whores.


Trash *Simultaneous*
Man, I met some (Trash) trashy bitches in my day
Girl, he's a good man...
Trash *Simultaneous*
You're the biggeest piece of (Trash) trash I've ever seen, yeah.
Girl, he's a good man...
You're the biggeest piece of (Trash) trash I've ever seen, yeah.
Girl, he's a good man...

Girl, awooo, I gotta tell you somethin. (I hope your friend's playin this for you) Hey.
If you really knocked up by my homie, ima punch you in the stomach. Ho.

There you go, it's your name. He don't mean it. No.
Girl you better count your dough, cuz this August, your man is leaving.
(He's a good man, cunt. Alright, I'm done.)


Wormfood. Wormfood.
Yeah, your baby's worm food.
Wormfood. Wormfood.
Yeah, your baby's worm food.
Wormfood. Wormfood.
Yeah.
Wormfood. Wormfood.
Yeah, your baby's worm food.

Tuesday, December 13, 2005

If Normal Movie Reviews Aren't Pretentious Enough For You...

Let me tell you about one of my favorite sites. It has been one of my regular sites
for a while but it has always been ugly. Recently they had a redesign. I am talking about The Onion A.V. Club. You may or may not know about The Onion. It is a news site with fake news. The White House recently sued them to stop them from using the Presidential seal. Apparently the president is the only one allowed to make the president look stupid. Well this fake news site has a very real review site.

The Onion A.V. Club reviews movies, music, books and graphic novels, dvds, and videogames. Their reviews are uber-pretentious. I doubt they have ever given a good review to any movie with Ben Affleck in it. Their best of the year music lists are filled with indie fare. And they review dvds of movies that probably haven't been in theatres outside of L.A. or NY. I don't usually take their reviews too seriously but it is a good place to find movies and bands that you probably have never heard of. They even have downloadable songs from some of their favorite bands.

They also have some non-review sections which tend to be funny. For example, in Commentary Tracks of the Damned, they listen to the commentary on crappy movies like Batman & Robin basically having the makers of a crappy movie defend their movie or at least explain why it turned out so crappy. My favorite non-review section is the column called Savage Love. This column is not for the easily offended or even some of the not-so-easily offended. It is mostly an advice column for people who are into wierd things sexually. This goes beyond gay or straight this column is where you will find people asking about wheelchair sex, living as a male prostitute, and men who like to be dressed like babies (diapers and all). The author also recently coined a disgusting definition for the last name of Senator Rick Santorum because of his constant campaigning against gay rights. The best thing about the site are its Features. They have interviews with all kinds of people and usually they are funny people like the recent interview with Sarah Silverman that could only be done by email. I am adding this site to the links. I hope you guys check it out.

I know it's a little long but it's worth it

Little Leroy came into the kitchen where his mother was making dinner.

His birthday was coming up and he thought this was a good
time to tell his mother what he wanted.

"Mom, I want a bike for my birthday."

Little Leroy was a bit of a troublemaker. Leroy's mother
asked him if he thought he deserved to get a bike for his birthday. Little
Leroy, of course, thought he did.

Leroy's mother, being a Christian woman, wanted him to
reflect on his behavior over the last year and write a letter to God and
tell him why he deserved a bike for his birthday. Little Leroy stomped
up the steps to his room and sat down to write God a letter.

LETTER 1:

Dear God,

I have been a very good boy this year and I would like a bike for my birthday.
I want a red one.

Your friend,

Leroy

Leroy knew this wasn't true. He had not
been a very good boy this year, so he tore up the letter and started over.

LETTER 2:

Dear God,

This is your friend Leroy. I have been a pretty good boy this year, and
I would like a red bike for my

birthday.

Thank you,

Leroy

Leroy knew this wasn't true either. He tore
up the letter and started again.

LETTER 3:

Dear God,

I have been an OK boy this year and I would really like a red bike for
my birthday.

Leroy

Leroy knew he could not send this letter
to God either,so he wrote another letter.

LETTER 4:

Dear God,

I know I haven't been a good boy this year. I am very sorry. I will be
a good boy if you just send me a red bike for my birthday.

Thank you,

Leroy

Leroy knew, even if it was true, this letter
was not going to get him a bike.

By now, Leroy was very upset. He went downstairs and told
his mother he wanted to go to church. Leroy's mother knew her plan worked
because Leroy looked very sad.

"Just be home in time for dinner," his mother said.

Leroy walked down the street to the church and up to the
altar. He looked around to see if anyone was there.

He picked up a statue of the Virgin Mary and slipped it under his shirt
and ran out of the church, down the street, into his house, and up to his
room. He shut the door to his room and sat down with a piece of paper and
a pen. Leroy began to write his letter to God...

LETTER 5:

I GOT YOUR MAMA. IF YOU WANT TO SEE HER AGAIN, SEND THE
RED BIKE.

Signed,

YOU KNOW WHO

Thursday, December 08, 2005

this is the prince of persia times a thousand

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=515642196227308929

i'm like whoa, and he's like whoa, and they're like whoa.

Wednesday, December 07, 2005

The Sky is Falling RUN AWAY

Click Here

Tuesday, December 06, 2005

we were sent into space++::......




space cheers

Monday, December 05, 2005

206.11.41

YIAHHHHHHHHHHH BITCHES....



THE RECEIVING END OF SIRENS!!! then go to tv shows oven fresh and vote for TREOS!!!

whoooooooo said i could not do this hahaah my first code, actually simple, third major? computer science???????? nahhhh.... many of you could say okay so what he did something so simple, however as i might recall i am computer illeterate meaning i hit my computer everytime it does not do something i want it to do... and for me to do thissssssss and actually see it workkkkkk is fucking awesome, yes i actually did this noo i did not copy paste it from other sites. i worked on it myself and i'm proud of it, nooooooooo do not ask me how i did it and aske me about encoding 'cause i don't know i just read and followed... ahahhahah bitches....

ON THE OTHER HANDDD VOTEE FOR THIS BAND NOW!!!!!!! THE VIDEO IS AWESOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!! NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



one...

Saturday, December 03, 2005

he really did it....

Thursday, December 01, 2005

Original Recipe or Extra Crispy?...

Just thought you guys should know that in a little while the government will have killed 1000 people thorough the death penalty since 1976.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/americas/4490842.stm