Today you will rent a petting zoo, Your children will love you, but your neighbors will appreciate you for all the wrong reasons. You see your neighbors, you will realize are all "southerners" at heart. And we all know the age-old saying, " You can take the redneck out of the trailer park but you can't take the trailer park out of the redneck".
it will be 2:00am, you will wake up early and you won't be able to go back to sleep, so you will sneak into the kitchen for a little snack. You will kiss your wife in the cheek, and walk off, as you walk into the kitchen, you will notice certain shadowy figures outside your back lawn. You think it is a trick of the light and think nothing of it. You open the refrigerator, open a box of your wife's lovely M&M cookies, nuke them for exactly 26 seconds, and enjoy. Until you're suddenly shocked by the loud cry of baby goats. You bolt up, look both ways and focus on the window outside. You run to your trusty tools cabinet and get your trusty flashlight and focus your light outside only to notice Roger, your next door neighbor. Immediately you remember all your fond memories of him, children's birthday parties you invited him to. Backyard football barbecues, and even christmas caroling. All memories now sullied by this gruesome image of him with his pants down covered with a baby goat. The next morning, you stand for half an hour pondering how you will ask him to pay for damages.
