Narcisim, Masturbation or Homosexuality?

ok so... a couple of guys at the office have this question and i came to the conclucion that this would be the best place to discuss it....so here we go...

if you go back in time, and you have sex with yourself, is it Narcisim, Masturbation or Homosexuality?

O the scientist++::....

so since we put song recommendations that i doubt get observed i will try and sway you to a band that's rather cool.
the band is called Forgive Durden and the cd is Razia's Shadow A Musical
its literally a musical with so many musical guests including the likes of casey crescenzo (from the dear hunter), max benis (say anything), chris conley (say anything), lizzie huffman (man in the blue van), brendon urie (panic! at the disco), nic newsham (gatsby's american dream), john gourley (portugal the man) and many others.
point being, the cd is a masterpiece, i cant even get enough words to place what they did with music, its just a great balance of symphony, vocals from every angle at the same time and a badass story.
heres a piece from it, the second song of the cd after the intro...the song is "the missing piece" lyrics are below it....

THE M I S S ING P I ECE

AHRIMA

What a splendid mess He’s made of this. O The Scientist and His Genesis.
He overlooked my gift and benefit. She’s the only one who knows what I
could’ve done.
I must be patient. They will realize what I know inside. I was meant to
lead this world to greater things. It’s my destiny.
Everything seems to fade when I see her face. The sky and trees all blur
every time I look at her. Nobody understood me ‘til her eyes fixed upon
me. My puzzle life’s complete now that I found the missing piece.

NIDRIA
Don’t you worry, boy. It’s a waste of time. Place your hand on mine. Untie
your mind.
We’ll just float away into the day. You’re not the only one who thinks
they’re falling in love.
You must be patient. They will realize what I see inside. You were meant
to lead this world to greater things. It’s your destiny.

AHRIMA
Everything seems to fade when I see her face. The sky and trees all blur
every time I look at her. Nobody understood me ‘til her eyes fixed upon
me. My puzzle life’s complete now that I found the missing piece.
You’re the meaning. Nidria please listen, I’d like to explain. I should have
told you sooner, it’s been gnawing at my brain. My mind’s in knots, it’s
got me lost. Please help me through the maze. You’re the key. The lock,
turning. The breaking of these chains.

NIDRIA
Everything seems to fade when I see his face. The sun and stars turn dim
every time I look at him. Nobody understood me ‘til his eyes fixed upon
me. My puzzle life’s complete now that I found the missing piece.

AHRIMA
Everything seems to fade when I see her face. The sky and trees all blur
every time I look at her. Nobody understood me ‘til her eyes fixed upon
me. My puzzle life’s complete now that I found the missing piece.

Naration
Ahrima, the most gifted seraph, the utmost skilled of the cherubs, he felt
his aptitude and sleight were being misused, shamed. He repined this to O
The Scientist, who replied with a calm face, expressionless.

AHRIMA
Dream with your eyes closed. Try and pluck the pearls from your bones.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::..
enjoy
cheers