The Coheed/ Steve Jobs connection (and why listening to Coheed and Cambria can save your life)

Now we all know that Mac is the ultimate evil force in the world, right? We either deny it because we are on their side or we fully know the truth and refuse to fight for satan.

Coheed has taken up arms on the situation it is clear. What isn't clear is on what side they fall.

Confused? I would be too if I wasn't a genius. Try to follow me all you non geniuses.

Steve Jobs and his Mac boys have insidiously been increasing their popularity by trading slick machinery for people's souls. "Popular products? " you ask, "Products like what?" Well, Mac's main turn around in the last 10 years was with the introduction of the iMac. It was friendly, colorful and "easy to use" (just couldn't be used with anything). If anyone used a computer in any TV show it was an iMac. This darling of the vast Mac/Media conspiracy to undermine all that is good in the world was an ever present facet of late 90s life that could barely be avoided. It was marketed as being perfect for media applications, such as editing movies and music.

In more recent years apple has reached out it's sales to even windows users with it's very slick mp3 player, the iPod. Now available in 60gigs and in a colorful "photo" form. This is the most popular mp3 player in the world, and is the object of desire of every computer user interested in portable music. Why do you ask? Well, because satan's poison is very sweet.

Now has come the release of Itunes. This free software download is intended to interface with apples internet mp3 store and serve as the primary music player on computers.

have you put it together yet? Of course not, because you aren't brilliant as I am.

ok, let's connect some dots for you.

-iMac
-iPod
-iTune

ssee?

of course not.

the members of coheed and cambria take us to a point far in the future where Apple's new breed of music slanted evil comes full force? By now you should realize where I'm going Fredo. Good, I'm glad you are finally here. For the slow ones, I will spell it out to you.

I, Robot? NO!

iRobot. That's right. iRobot. It's the flagship of Mac's future line. Travis, Chase, that hulk kinda guy from Three Evils, they are all Macs. Powerful, evil, and inclined towards working with media forms.

Claudio... is a visionary.The only question (since I have conclusively proved my point above) left to be answered is that of the alignment of the iRobots, and hence of claudio and the band. If the iRobots are victorious we can know that our favorite band, though musically gifted, has drifted to the dark side, and will have to be enjoyed with the same sort of reservation as listening to Pearl Jam. I don't doubt some of you could be dragged with them.However my theory is that at this point in fictional history in which the story takes place is that the iRobot has reached a point in conciousness where it realizes Steve Job's all-evil plan, and more importantly understands how it is evil. I envision the iRobots fighting back against it's creators for the good of all the universe.

God speed you iRobots. and you who read this, yes I don't mind that you are basking in my brilliance. It is simply something I accept as part of my calling.