why scarlett should marry me.
There are certain time's in one's life when a man falls for a girl. A lot of the times, it's a regular girl, and many more times its a "hollywood actress". All of us have them. Most girls [and some guys (even straight ones)] have fallen for Johnny Depp or Bradd Pitt. But this isn't about that, this is about how, this girl;
Scarlett Johansson, who has the most difficult last name to spell, but I still remember it because I'm that i'm that determined.
So, before you all go into this cliche mindset about how i'm just some creepy stalker who should be committed, just hear me out first. Why should scarlett marry this guy:
?
Well first of all, we all know one thing, Hollywood relationships are fucked up beyond all reason. They never work out, just look at Brad, jennifer, and Angelina. Or as I like to call it, Brannjelina. It has become the most pathetic, overpressed subject ever that even beat the palestinian earthquake in some magazines. Now that is quite sad. But before I start ranting over what is wrong with hollywood, that is not what i'm talking about, what I'm talking about is that hollywood relatonships do not work, so it is in Scarlett's best interests not to get involved with some actor, musician, performer of any type. It is in her best interests to get involved...well...with me.
Second, I'm sure if she met me, she would find out that I am as cute as this panda dog right here:
now look at that, that is fucking adorable.
Thirdly, I am on my way to getting a good career in a good school. UCSF, NYU, maybe even harvard or Yale. That's right Scarlett, HARVARD or YALE. so I will be very financially stable, and with all the millions she'll be grossing in movies, she could finance my experimentations with nature. Not even that, but she would be married to a future Nobel laureate. I guarantee it. Now if that doesn't win her over, i don't know what does. All the genius of that russel crowe character, and only half the crazy.
So anyone who reads this, and is closely related to Scarlett, please forward this to her, it would be greatly appreciated. Thank You.
-Sincerely,
Renato Regalado
Scarlett Johansson, who has the most difficult last name to spell, but I still remember it because I'm that i'm that determined.
So, before you all go into this cliche mindset about how i'm just some creepy stalker who should be committed, just hear me out first. Why should scarlett marry this guy:
?Well first of all, we all know one thing, Hollywood relationships are fucked up beyond all reason. They never work out, just look at Brad, jennifer, and Angelina. Or as I like to call it, Brannjelina. It has become the most pathetic, overpressed subject ever that even beat the palestinian earthquake in some magazines. Now that is quite sad. But before I start ranting over what is wrong with hollywood, that is not what i'm talking about, what I'm talking about is that hollywood relatonships do not work, so it is in Scarlett's best interests not to get involved with some actor, musician, performer of any type. It is in her best interests to get involved...well...with me.
Second, I'm sure if she met me, she would find out that I am as cute as this panda dog right here:
now look at that, that is fucking adorable.
Thirdly, I am on my way to getting a good career in a good school. UCSF, NYU, maybe even harvard or Yale. That's right Scarlett, HARVARD or YALE. so I will be very financially stable, and with all the millions she'll be grossing in movies, she could finance my experimentations with nature. Not even that, but she would be married to a future Nobel laureate. I guarantee it. Now if that doesn't win her over, i don't know what does. All the genius of that russel crowe character, and only half the crazy.
So anyone who reads this, and is closely related to Scarlett, please forward this to her, it would be greatly appreciated. Thank You.
-Sincerely,
Renato Regalado
posted by ingenium at 10:53 AM
2 Comments:
dude, i think im falling for the panda bear. you should really reconsider the whole scarlett thing and show like a sunset or something. i think she might fall for the panda dog.
cheers
Dude your experiments with nature have gone too far. A panda dog!?! Oh goddammit I can't resist that face. Thank You for the panda dog mr. man-who-plays-god.
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