Mo’ monies, no’ parking

So what the hell is up with sperm whales? 42? Being ripped like Jesus (RRRRRRRRRipped!)? And the newer and stupider forms of charging for tickets on campus?
Well the problem is as follows: the people at the police department are in some sort of trouble in more than a few things. Here’s my take on it:
a) They’re fat. Yes, most of our taskforce is fat and could not chase a quadriplegic turtle on an upward street if they had to. Maybe with that money they could go onto a fitness program instead of driving they’re happy fat asses to corpus to raid kryspy kreme with they’re fifty dollar fines for any little reason they can think of. And the other cops (the non fat ones) are just a few seconds away from death. They smell like rotten almonds and look like an autistic Ronald Reagan.
b) They spend the money on Ziploc bags. As astounding as it may sound, its true. I saw the other day that during the rain, they now put tickets in Ziplocs, and well, as you can imagine, with Ziplocs brand of waterproof bags, the ticket is kept fresh and dry even thru the harshest of conditions. Now I know where tamales’s money went. Ziplocs!
c) The ordering of new tickets. Well duh! Fucking morons, seriously, do they think the tickets are free? Now with that money they get from fines, goes to order new and improved tickets. Yay.
d) They’re not ripped like Jesus. RRRRRRRRipped!
e) The improvement on technology for the new ticket system. That’s on the previous issue of the south Texan. I have no prepared sarcasm for the level of stupidity exemplified in what the police department said that they do. They use the money from the new fines to order better equipment to make fines. THEY USE THE MONEY FROM THE NEW FINES TO ORDER BETTER EQUIPMENT TO MAKE FINES.
Now here is a small piece of my mind, so please, bear with it for a few moments:
- What the fuck is up with the Ziplocs? Seriously, what the fuck? You’re charging fifty dollars a ticket just so you can put it on a Ziploc? Is that were other peoples money is going to?
- Instead of keeping the money to buy Ziplocs, maybe you can use it to cover the holes that are all over the campus parking spots. Believe, now that you earn $50 instead of $20 you can afford something that is better than sand.
- You could also instead of scouring the fucking school looking for people whom to rob their money for a stupid permit; you can try to start installing surveillance on buildings where they steal shit.
- Not only that, you can also try to do better investigations, instead of staying in a place supposedly doing an investigation. You’re getting paid to keep shit from disappearing. The least you could do is to seriously undergo an investigation, or to patrol the university at all times as to discourage stealing attempts.
- You could also encourage creating less red permit parking spaces and more blue and yellow. I mean here you have at least three to four free red spaces that could be used for students that really need it. Guess it’s a wee bit too hard to notice (again no prepared sarcasm).
I really can’t finish describing the inefficiencies of this school and its lack of helping to make anything better.
Cheers.